In accordance with the tradition and experience of the Desert Fathers, I can only make an attempt to help you in your religious (prayer)life if, when, and insofar you explicitly ask for help.

When you ask for someone’s help it’s important to remember that lives and personalities differ. Therefore, what has worked for me might not be optimal for you. And as long as we’ve not been perfected by God’s Holy Spirit we all carry a major beam in our own eyes. I’m no exception to that rule. As a matter of fact: I’m still less than half the servant I ought to be. Therefore, you should never outsource the responsibility for your own spiritual progress and wellbeing to someone else (a guru, a spiritual father, etcetera). God (+) gave us all a free will. And this means you’ve always been and always will remain responsible for your own decisions and spiritual progress.

In the wise and experienced words of Ignatius Brianchaninov (collated and edited for readability):

“In our modern times we face a total paucity of spirit-bearing instructors who can see directly into people’s souls. For this reason, the only road to Christian progress left for us is a Christian life lived under the guidance of patristic writings, combined with the counsel of contemporary brothers and sisters who are seen to be successfully progressing in line with those writings. But be extremely cautious. Don't be caught up in their contemporary counsel according to its first effect upon you! Test the contemporary counsel of your brothers and sisters always thoroughly against the writings of the Fathers: it should be found to be in accordance with it before taking it to heart. For counsel never demands unquestioning execution. Instead, counsel leaves you free to follow up on it, or not. [And should you have a specific spiritual director or father] let him bring you and your soul to Christ, not to himself. Let him consider himself as nothing, like the great and humble John the Baptist. Guard yourself against passionate attachment to spiritual instructors."